oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
