no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
