Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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