Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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