I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
