Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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