hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
