so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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