This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
