Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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