I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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