Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
