i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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