the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
