you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
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I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
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You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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