Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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