Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
