so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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