And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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