Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we made out on top of his cat.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
