your room smells of hookers.
And success
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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