also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
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So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
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Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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