I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
