Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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