This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
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He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
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I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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