Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
