I didn't shave. On purpose
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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