Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
