very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
