i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
