Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We are two peas in an std pod
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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