remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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