just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize