the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just puked most of my soul out..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
