There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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