I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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