I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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