I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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