we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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