Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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