thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize