Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
