she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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