Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
