Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
