i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
