So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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