Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
