bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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