Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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