I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
it was like eating out sand paper
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
