we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
