Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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