Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
