life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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