i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
