Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
