Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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