Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
